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     I’m scared….

         Don’t know how I got here, how to stay, or where I am going….Like a clock ticks 1 second at a time, my thoughts, emotions consume me…Suffocate me.  So distraught from discerning the Holy Spirit from my own thoughts.  Must remember that feelings of this kind of emotion DO NOT COME FROM GOD! 

     I don’t want to dwell on these feelings but they must come out.  I feel so overwhelmed with all kinds of Emotions sometimes that it feels I can barely breathe.  Is this an affliction?  A Spiritual Warfare?  “Just keep moving Farrah, you will eventually get to where you belong.”
    Moods like crazy rollercoasters, depression literally runs my life.  All because I Let It.  I just don’t know how to ignore & be joyful.  I truly don’t, so I submerse myself in books and God’s unfailing love and promises.  And as another day passes, I realize that because of HIS strength, grace, patience, mercy, comfort & love I have yet made it through another day.  Though I still failed at times, thought I felt so weary & worn I could have cried, I made it through another day.  Because of My Heavenly Father’s amazing grace & love I drift off to a much needed sleep.